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  • Results 1 to 5 of 5
    1. #1
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      Days, Hours, Seconds, Till Finally Away -Private-


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      Days. Aizen folded the last of the laundry and surveyed the clothing he had left versus the pile of things that had been too worn out to save. His two duffel bags were full and everything else was arranged in his backpack. He surveyed the quarters he’d had since he became a Padawan wondering if he had anything left to take with him. Everything left behind was really just sentimental stuff, nothing really necessary and yet… The lingering guilt. He hadn’t told Manu or Chiara that he was leaving. He’d said too many goodbyes to either of them in the past to want to suffer more.

      He had stood in the empty places they had been apart from too many times to count. He had mourned them. He moved to his mounted weapons rack and took down the wooden staff that Manu had made him too many years ago. Much too small now, a child’s hands better suited for it, but he kept it because of the memories. He missed those days when he had trained with Dalia and Manu, he set it back on the rack and closed his eyes. “I hate this place…

      He really did. The years spent in isolation, the years spent mourning his family that had left him behind. The temple had become a suffocating nightmare buried in snow and he wanted to be free of it. Now he would have his wish, but he still had to wait. Stars and stones he was so damn tired of waiting. All he had ever done is sit back while others told him to wait. To be a good student and meditate on patience while his masters were gone.

      He moved to sit on the bed leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees running his hands through his hair. Resentment and bitterness rose up to strangle him. Wasted. All of it wasted and it wasn’t even worth it. His own people still despised him, his own brother caught up in the mess that was his reappearance. What? Had he thought he’d have time for him? No. In the end all he had were memories and maybe now he could be free of the pain, free of dying a slow death on this blighted snowball.

      Maybe now he could get on with his life and maybe...finally be told he was worthy. Worthy to stand beside those he loved. Worthy to fight with them. Worthy to never be kept out of secrets or left behind to keep a light on. He stood up and set his things near the door and flopped onto the bed with a sigh “I really really do hate this place…

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    2. #2
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      Hearing third hand that a family member was essentially moving away, without ever bothering to tell you, was not the greatest feeling in the world. Chiara deliberated going to see Aizen, as there was this part of her still feeling incensed with him from his shenanigans before. There had been no apologies, no reconciliations. Just distance ever since.

      Didn’t seem to matter what was happening, whether his sister was being resurrected, or Dalia and her were being kidnapped. Aizen hadn’t been anywhere to be found through all of those instances. Were the bridges between them burned that badly?

      Yes. She had kept her survival a secret, but he had not been the only person excluded from that. Surely he understood her intentions, that they were well placed, and done out of the care she had for her family? Were they well placed? Yes. She seemed to remember them being so. Or was he so jaded that he did not understand her intentions? Or perhaps Chiara simply asked too much without giving enough of herself? She didn’t know the answer.

      At the door of his living quarters, Chira waited. When the door opened she let herself in and quirked a brow at Aizen. Her gaze fell from him and started to look about the room, taking in the scene before her.

      “So it is true. You were planning on leaving without saying so much as a goodbye, weren’t you?”

      Her words conveyed a wound that was difficult to hide. Her brows furrowed and she sighed. She had come here in effort to rebuild some kind of friendship between them, not to make matters worse. “I brought you something for the road.” she held out a colourfully decorated bag, tied in a knot at the top. “There are muffins in here, dried fruits, some veggies. I even included some of the red tea that I picked up on my last journey to Thyrsus. Try not to eat it all in one sitting. Oh...and..” she slipped the bag off of her shoulder and unzipped it, removing a carefully folded quilt, tied with a decorative ribbon to keep it nicely together. “You might need this, gets a little chilly in space.”

      She placed it on his bed and tucked her hands into the pockets of her pants, looking up at the much taller Echani. It felt wrong trying to pretend everything was okay, and she could no longer keep up the pretenses with someone who was supposed to be family. Someone she should be able to be honest with.

      “Just one thing...why are you going? Why now? When everyone is finally together?”

    3. #3
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      Aizen sat up and looked at Chiara and her gifts saying nothing. What was there to say? He wasn’t going to lie, but seeing her again, that painful lump twisted in his gut again. Why was he going? Aizen ran a hand through his hair and sighed “My new teacher doesn’t spend a lot of time at the temple, so I’m going with him. Besides… You and I both know that if I stay here...neither of us will get our lives sorted. You have your ghosts Chiara and...I have mine. Neither of us are the same people anymore and maybe that’s why…

      He shook his head and looked away “I’ve said far too many goodbyes and buried a lot of people because of it.

      Part of why he had stayed away was because he still loved her. As he looked at her, he knew he probably always would and never as ‘family’. He knew she wouldn’t see it, wouldn’t understand, she never saw it then and now? Probably not either. He stood up and took the gifts, hands lingering on the blanket more than the food. “Did you make the blanket?

    4. #4
      Chiara Viren's Avatar
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      "No. It's not just that you are leaving, you plan on staying away, and you don't plan on coming back." the frown deepened, "I can see it."

      It seemed that Chiara wasn't going to let things slide. "You would rather run away from your problems than face them, that's what this is." she knew the words were harsh, but not unnecessary. There were too many instances where Chiara had not spoken what she really needed to say and she wasn't going to let this be one of those times. "Of course we are not the same people, I hope not anyway. Being teenagers for the rest of our lives would not be what I'd consider 'ideal'." she tilted her head at him and smiled. "Anyway! The point is, don't bury the people who are still around and want to be in your life, because you fear the possibilities and the unknowns of what all that might entail."

      When he asked about the quilt, Chiara nodded. It had been a labor filled task, trying to find the time to make him something in a time crunch. Especially with how long his legs were, she tried to make it so it would cover him properly. Lots of long evenings, lots of tired days. But the result of it was satisfactory and not janky. "Are you surprised that I know how to do more than make flower crowns and swing a lightsaber?"

    5. #5
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      Staying away is far cry better than watching the woman you’ve always loved, come back haunted and knowing you can’t help her. This temple has always felt like a prison to me. Always watching the backs of those I love leave me behind and feeling like I’ll never be worthy enough to fight beside them. So forgive me for wanting to get stronger, for myself, instead of trying to take the burdens of others onto my shoulders again and get their departures as reward. I have my own petch to sort, I can’t do that here. I can’t be what anyone needs of me, I can’t be what I want to be here either. I’ll suffocate here…

      He turned away from her, his shoulders shaking, it hurt so much. He didn’t cry, the shaking was more from just intense emotion than anything else. “I’ve always known there was more to you than flowers and force powers Chiara…

      Silver eyes turned back to her and there were leagues of pain in his eyes. “I would give up everything to see you safe, to see you protected, but you’d never become who you are meant to be stuffed away like that. I want so badly to just...fix it all so you can go back to being that happy silly girl again, but neither of us can go back. So yeah, I have to leave, because I’ll only hate myself and grow cold if I stay here. I...have to leave to become the person who is better than who I am now.

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